We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the dumbest things they heard someone say. Here are their hysterical (and concerning) responses:
1."My sister was reading the job postings and saw one for light housekeeping. She said, 'Where is there a lighthouse near us? We are 400 miles from the ocean!'"
3."My husband's ex once said that Cinco de Mayo was on the 5th this year."
-- happyduck265
4."I once worked with a teenage girl at a fast food joint. She was going to order herself a burger and decided to go with the 1/3 pound burger because it was 'bigger' than the 1/2 pound one."
-- hiddencake55
5."When I was newly engaged, I introduced my then-fiancé to my mother. Well, of course, the subject of his family came up, and he revealed he was Puerto Rican. With a straight face, my mom asked him, 'What part of Mexico is that?'"
-- certified_drapetomaniac
6."I am the father of twins. Boy and a girl. A friend asked if they were identical."
-- freshturtle77
7."My husband had a student once who told him she couldn't come to class because she had given blood, and it just wasn't working out for her, so she was going to go and get it back."
-- fabjester383
8."I had a housemate look surprised when she heard about a house fire on the news that had been caused by a space heater. She said, 'I don't know how fires start when it's so cold.'"
-- mushybunny174
9."I dated a guy who thought if he jumped from an airplane without a parachute, he would survive. He said he knew how to land on his feet. He was dead serious."
-- furryshield932
10."A young woman once asked me, in all seriousness, where the wings were located on buffalo."
-- mellowpotato99
11."Just had a middle schooler ask me what language the US Constitution was written in originally."
-- ssstege11573
12."My friend Alice had a step sister that used to come over and say stupid stuff all the time. Once she said, 'It's been proven that ice doesn't have any water in it.'"
-- goldenarcher662
13."I am a retired high school home economics teacher. Once I was teaching about milk and dairy products. One student asked, 'If white milk comes from white cows and chocolate milk comes from brown cows, where do you get strawberry milk from?'"
-- cheesycoyote466
14."In high school, we were learning about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and one of my classmates was shocked he got assassinated because she thought he was still alive."
-- sparklycupcake64
15."'When do you celebrate Thanksgiving?' I'm from a European country."
-- radcat654
16."A football player friend of mine from high school got drafted into the NFL (Green Bay), but he had to ask his mom where Green Bay was."
-- clairefreeman
17."A friend from high school asked me once if Cuban cigars were from Cuba."
-- clairefreeman
18."My husband and I rented a convertible while on vacation in Hawaii. He was in a hurry, but I told him we had to wait a little while because I had to put sunscreen on the kids. He said not to bother because once in the car, we would be moving."
20."My friend didn't know there was fresh milk and shelf-stable milk and bought a bunch of fresh milk, then complained a week later that the ones she didn't put in the refrigerator spoiled. It turns out her parents only ever bought shelf-stable milk, so she didn't know there was any other kind. We were 23."
22."A friend (32 at the time) randomly stated that she found it so weird that you never see cows hatch from their eggs. She honestly believed that there were massive eggs lying around farms and was confused as to why she'd only seen videos of birds hatching!"
-- justineh7
23."My 49-year-old husband has complained multiple times about pain he was having in his 'rotary cup.' He's essentially a borderline bodybuilder, he should know it's actually a 'rotator cuff.'"
-- kimpoulos
24.And finally "My friend once said that if you were skydiving and the parachute didn't open, all you had to do was manage to get on top of the parachute backpack while falling and jump off it the last three feet before you hit the ground. Then it would be like jumping off a bunk bed, and you would be fine. I remember that dinner clearly, and everyone just opened their mouths and started at her."
-- blhr
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.