Made In Chelsea star Sam Vanderpump admits amid his devastating health issues that he feared he might never get to see his unborn child. Engaged to model Alce Yaxley since March, who the couple revealed are expecting their first child, a baby boy, last month - Sam, 28, made the heartbreaking admission during a deeply moving episode of Paul C Brunson's podcast We Need To Talk.
Asked by dating guru Paul how he feels as a father to be, Sam - who is the nephew of reality star Lisa Vanderpump, responded,"I always get sad when I think my dad's never going to see his grandchild. To now start having that thing dawned on you. Am I going to see my child? That's terrifying."
Sam revealed last month that he needed a liver transplant, and that a doctor told him he may have a life expevtancy of just 'four or five years' to live without a transplant.
Speaking candidly to MAFS UK expert Paul, he revealed that the media storm surrounding his revelation swiftly became too much for him. "Yeah, I mean, I had a breakdown... You know, you talk about it on Made in Chelsea. Made in Chelsea, fairly big, fine. And there is always a bit of media around it. And so I was expecting to do it on Made in Chelsea, do a bit of media and that would be it.
"And the media storm that hit wasn't the context of look, yes, those fears hit me but they're deep fears. And in all truth, a liver transplant is extremely successful. So I'm going to be here for my son. I know that.
"And there are those fears. But you know, there the context is I'm healthy now. I'm going to be there for my son. I'm going to have this liver transplant and everything's going to be fine.
"Right. So I dealt with that and processed that. And Made in Chelsea portrayed that brilliantly. The media storm which followed every newspaper comes out with the headline 4 or 5 years left to live. That's not true. And that broke me."
He explained, confessing that he now feels he shouldn't have opened up publicly about his fears, "The context is that my liver might not be good for 4 or 5 years. He doesn't know the doctor. But rather than waiting for that, rather than waiting for my liver to get bad, I'll have a transplant. I'll remain healthy. I will see my son. I will live a long, happy life."
"I shouldn't have talked about it. I should have kept it private. Should've dealt with it internally, with our family, processed it ourselves. And I broke and I sat there and I broke and I sat there with Alice and we just took 20 minutes to cry."
The reality star, who almost died last December after a near-fatal battle with sepsis, also told Paul that it was his famous aunt who gave him the 'kick up the backside' he needed - and gave him the focus that what he was doing was important, as he was raising awareness for everyone waiting on a transplant list.
"She was like, you need to be there for Alice. You need to be there for your son. Yes, I understand what you're going through. And she was fantastic at empathising with me, but she gave me the kick up the backside.
"And then it propelled me into thinking, this is why I'm doing this. I'm doing this to raise awareness. There are 8000 other people out there on a transplant list that are waiting for transplant, that would wish to have the voice I have, the platform I have to talk about this to encourage people to sign up to reduce that list so they can get well soon."
As part of the episode, We Need To Talk partnered with NHS Organ Donation, and the conversation includes an important on-air message from Paul and Sam encouraging listeners to register their organ donation decision.