DEAR ABBY: I have cared for my elderly mother in my home for 15 years. I have four brothers who live out of state. It is harder and harder for me emotionally to see Mom aging and the difficulties that come with it. My brothers don't call or visit often. I repeatedly remind them to call Mom regularly because she needs contact, but time and time again they fail us. We are five hours away, but they visit only once or twice a year.
In three months, I will be retiring early so I can move back to their state to be closer to them and Mom can see them and her many grandkids and great-grandkids more often. How do I stop resenting them for not stepping up? I love Mom and have sacrificed so much with pleasure, but I expected others to do better. -- DISAPPOINTED BROTHER IN MISSOURI
DEAR BROTHER: I understand your disappointment, but have you considered that your brothers may have circumstances in their lives that occupy their attention such as wives, families and jobs which prevent their being as present in their mother's life as you have been? Calm your anger. The move you are making may enable them -- and their wives and children -- to spend more time with her. Before you relocate, however, this is something you should discuss fully with your siblings to ensure that what you are hoping for will happen.
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